Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo

We the people of the Federal Republic of Nigeria having firmly and solemnly resolved yada, yada, yada,…. have decided that we want power, education, health, agriculture, roads, and security …. like yesterday!

With all the orisirisi states of emergency that Yar’Adua has been declaring since assuming power, it is almost starting to feel like JFK Airport during a Red Alert. Knowing however that I will be described as tall before all of these get sorted simultaneously, I have made my own wish list in order of priority:

Security- it kind of makes sense to be alive and in one piece in the first place before expecting anything else, eh?;

Power- and this is because I don’t want the first two words that come out of my issue’s mouth to be UP NEPA!;

Roads- in the absence of underground transportation, and due to my non-existent otherworldly transportation powers;

Health- I figure that if my life and limbs are protected from stray bullets, and I don’t succumb to malaria due to mosquitoes that attack when there is no NEPA, and I don’t get body pain from the ubiquitous craters I run into everyday on the roads, the odds are great that I might be able to avoid drugs and hospitals for long periods of time. And there is always alternative medicine!;

Education- selfish I know, but hey ever since I quit being a student, ASUU’s antics only amuse me; AND

Agriculture- who needs food anyway; we should all be on a diet!

Which would you rather have resolved first and in what order should the others follow?

P.S. The results of this poll will be collated by the Ministry of Information’s Dept. of A Listening Ear