Sorry Seems Not To Be The Hardest Word

“I have no one but myself to blame. I do not lay the fault or the blame of the charge at anyone else's feet. For no one is to blame but Jimmy Swaggart. I take the responsibility. I take the blame. I take the fault.”
–Jimmy Swaggart, televangelist
February 21, 1988

“Indeed, I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.”
- Bill Clinton, former U.S. President and aspiring first laddie
August 17, 1998

“There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of Anti-Semitic remark… As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologise directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.”
- Mel Gibson, actor and director
August 1, 2006

“And so it is with a great amount of shame that I stand before you and tell you that I have betrayed your trust. I want all you to know that today I plead guilty to two counts of making false statements to federal agents… and I am responsible fully for my actions. I have no one to blame but myself for what I have done.”
- Marion Jones- Thompson, athlete
October 6, 2007

Won je bi, emi ni won ba hold responsible! Obviously these guys don’t take advice from people who know better; Milli Vanilli had said it all before:

Blame it on the rain that was falling, falling
Blame it on the stars that did shine at night
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah

I trust my people. Take the blame ke? Never!!! Whatever happened to the devil? Jimmy Swaggart, man of God that he is and subject to all the attendant temptation from the devil, could conveniently have used that line: it was the devil. I have my suspicions about whether anyone would have bought it, but hey… nothing ventured…

Bill Clinton could have blamed it on the machinations of the axis of evil. Oh, there was no axis of evil in 1998?

And Mel Gibson, shame on you! Surely an actor and director could be more creative in coming up with a blamee.

As for Marion Jones, the dope was a ready excuse: “It was the dope, you dopes!”

This is just one of the things that separate developed societies from our African communities: social consciousness levels (doesn’t mean I buy those their phony apologies for one minute). But those guys do bad stuff, get caught, feign remorse, apologise, and hope to salvage their fat pay cheques, reputations, jobs or whatever else is precious to them. Some, like Akon even go a step further and take blame that is not theirs:

Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

We on the other hand, do bad stuff, get caught, arrogantly refuse to accept any wrongdoing, and definitely through fair and foul means take steps to salvage our fat pay cheques, reputations, jobs or whatever else is precious to us. Just ask Patricia Etteh who has blamed everyone and every circumstance except her inexplicable greed. She started off blaming her antagonists in the House of Representatives who she didn’t offer juicy positions; then moved on to the National Assembly Management for not vetting the contract properly. Who knows what she’ll come up with next?

What’s in an apology anyway? Are we truly to believe these apologies? What is the apology about anyway? Part of a plea bargain? You get caught with your hand in the cookie jar and then your overly- paid publicist pens a statement explaining your foible and hoping that all your loyal fans who look up to you will somehow find it in their hearts to forgive you. And if you weren’t caught? No apology?

Newsflash: I don’t look up to you. And why should I? I am too busy with real life to concern myself with your antics, or to model my actions after yours. Plus unlike you, I don’t have the inconvenience of the limelight to prevent me from doing all the bad things I like to do.