Back to the Stone Age???

Being a nouveau, somewhat loyal, Liverpool fan, I wasn’t terribly distressed over the news of Jose Mourinho’s exit from Stamford Bridge. Anyone who knows his football knows that there is no love lost between Liverpool and Chelsea. While the rivalry between the clubs will probably never reach the proportions of Man Utd. and Liverpool, Benitez and Mourinho have done enough to make it a talking point.

The straight contention for the English premiership title between Man Utd. and Arsenal was terribly monotonous. I mean, in the 15 year history of the Premiership, Man Utd. has won the title 9 times to Arsenal’s 3!!! Mourinho, for all his faults at least brought in some excitement. He not only out-won the usual suspects during his brief spell with the Blues, he definitely out-mouthed, and out-spent them as well. With a combination of his loud mouth and the deep pockets of his boss, he kept the attention on himself and by extension his club. And he had the laurels to back his braggadocio: 6 titles in 3 seasons- not bad at all!

Now the special one is gone, and it looks like we are back to the dark days of Man Utd. and Arsenal (Arsenal is currently topping the league closely followed by Man Utd., and with the way Arsenal is going …). And that truly sucks. Liverpool who should be giving those clubs a run for their titles can’t even beat Birmingham at Anfield!!! How whack is that?

Somebody needs to step up to the plate and upset the order. Even Derby County will do at this point.

Land of the Absurd and the Not-so-Absurd

This picture here, regardless of what you think, is the not-so-absurd. And I should know; after all, I am the one telling the tales here. Aren’t these guys just amazing? As if it is not enough that they are flouting every unwritten safety and traffic rule there is- rider, passenger, and three rams, all on one okada (it almost makes me want to pen a nursery rhyme) - they are smiling!!! I wonder what there is to grin about. Something about the dogged, indefatigable, indomitable, spirit of the Nigerian? Maybe. Or excitement at being photographed? I really can’t tell.

Now on to today’s entree- the ABSURD. The spotlight has been on one of Nigeria’s northern states in recent times. Normally, the northern governors aren’t news worthy. They have neither the clout, resources, nor panache to pull off many of the antics their southern counterparts get up to. But this is a new regime, and it seems like they are upping the ante.

We had heard from the get-go of an ongoing battle in Adamawa State for the position of first lady. That ordinarily would fall under the not-so-absurd. After all, this is Nigeria, and it would not be the first time that the chief executive of a State or maybe the entire nation would have a pool from which to pick a first lady. In the instant case, Governor Nyako is totally maxed out on his Islamic allocation of four wives. And therein lies his dilemma. Each of his wives for some reason believes herself the rightful candidate to the throne of first lady and is ready to fight to the death to stake her claim.

The situation is simultaneously hilarious and pitiful. Hilarious because the genius Chief of Staff rather than risk the wrath of 3 scorned women (and you know how it is with even one scorned woman) recently decided to simply make all four of them First Ladies. One of them will be first lady in charge of Abuja affairs, another first lady of health matters, yet another first lady of political affairs, and the last but by no means the least the first lady of home affairs. And I kid you not.

It is pitiful because at least two of these women are high achievers- one a High Court judge in Abuja (the current first lady in charge of Abuja affairs) while another is a medical doctor (no prices for guessing her portfolio) and they have reduced themselves to this … crudity! Even more pitiful is the fact that the good citizens of Adamawa State have to watch as the meager resources that should be used to upgrade their welfare will be inevitably siphoned to perpetuate the four first ladies in a lifestyle to which they wish to become accustomed.

I am not aware of any manual out there which deals with how to handle tricky situations like this, so I totally understand how it would look like the governor is stumped. But I have a wonderful idea. Maybe we should consider holding fresh elections. I can just see the headlines: INEC Holds Fresh Elections for the Office of the First Lady in Adamawa State.

Hazard Is ...

Me alone, female, with all the driving culture of a danfo driver… driving home from work late on a rainy Wednesday night… with the barely there headlights… on the treacherous Lagos roads from Victoria Island to Festac sans street lighting… and malfunctioning windshield water sprayer while beaucoup hired killers (i.e. heavy duty trailers, tankers et al.) splatter mud all over my windshield… with my non-shock-absorbing shock absorbers… maneuvering through pothole ridden supposed-to-be-roads… stereo blaring… answering my mobile phone without using the hands-free device intended for exactly that purpose …

How about you guys post equally or more terrifying experiences you have had (and ... maybe even stories that do not pack all the tension soaked moments of my own experience).