Things have actually been a little quiet in Nigeria for a while now (never mind the restlessness in the Niger Delta, the prosecution of thieving ex-governors, the new- I beg your pardon, recycled government officials etc.) so when I learnt on Tuesday evening that the Naira was going to be re-denominated, re-decimalised, re-juvenated, re-valued, and so on and so forth, I was like yeah something to talk about in the office tomorrow. And true to type, us lawyers who really have no clue about economics, discussed the issue with all the gusto with which we analyse and dissect legal principles (of which we at least have some knowledge). I hadn’t really thought about the ramifications of the new Order and so I accepted it with childlike enthusiasm. With further reflection on the issue however, I am thinking: s**t!!!
This issue of the [re... choose your noun] of the Naira finally convinced me of the importance of dialogue and extensive consultations before crucial policy decisions like this one are taken. If only Chukuma had taken the time to consult widely, we would have alerted him to the effect this new policy would have on the economic and social lives of hapless Nigerians.
Take as the first example- Who Wants to be a Millionaire? That show is either going to have to go through a name change (ideas anyone? and no, not thousannaire) or be scrapped. And if it gets scrapped (which the franchise owners will most likely do if anyone so much as even thinks 'thousannaire') Guess what happens to all the producers, directors, costumers, lighting guys, stage arrangers etc...? They are out of a job; while the participants are out of hope.
Secondly and definitely more importantly, what is supposed to happen to our spraying culture? Methinks that I certainly don’t want anyone splattering me with coins. Coins--- Oho! I get it now!! No more spraying!!! The bagger gets to have his way at last!!!!
Chukuma and his men are only going to put us under pressure. Because now, I have to get my act together and get married before August next year. The thoroughbred Naija girl that I am, I cannot even begin to contemplate my wedding without the naira rain which will serve to reimburse me all my wedding expenses.
So Chukuma thanks, but no thanks!!!
This issue of the [re... choose your noun] of the Naira finally convinced me of the importance of dialogue and extensive consultations before crucial policy decisions like this one are taken. If only Chukuma had taken the time to consult widely, we would have alerted him to the effect this new policy would have on the economic and social lives of hapless Nigerians.
Take as the first example- Who Wants to be a Millionaire? That show is either going to have to go through a name change (ideas anyone? and no, not thousannaire) or be scrapped. And if it gets scrapped (which the franchise owners will most likely do if anyone so much as even thinks 'thousannaire') Guess what happens to all the producers, directors, costumers, lighting guys, stage arrangers etc...? They are out of a job; while the participants are out of hope.
Secondly and definitely more importantly, what is supposed to happen to our spraying culture? Methinks that I certainly don’t want anyone splattering me with coins. Coins--- Oho! I get it now!! No more spraying!!! The bagger gets to have his way at last!!!!
Chukuma and his men are only going to put us under pressure. Because now, I have to get my act together and get married before August next year. The thoroughbred Naija girl that I am, I cannot even begin to contemplate my wedding without the naira rain which will serve to reimburse me all my wedding expenses.
So Chukuma thanks, but no thanks!!!
2 comments:
I must say that the last bit about you getting married prior to August 1st, 2008 left me rolling on the floor. But lets look at some bright spots to this redenomination:
1. local player...now global player: Nigeria's predicament the last couple of years reminds me so much of a similar fate in Mobutu Zaire, where a ZRZ 5million note was the equivalent of $1! The currency had become so worthless that even the country's soldiers refused to be paid in ZRZ unless it was in dollars or diamonds. You might argue that our situation was far from that, but just look at the examples of private schools, landlords and shopowners who have foresworn the naira in favour of the dollar bill. This redenomination shall put an end to all that.
2. Mental calculation and fogginess. Thanks to Uncle Chukwuma, our banks led by trailblazers like UBA and Zenith have moved into the realm of trillions in assets and contigencies. Have you ever tried counting how many zeroes make up a trillion. not too easy...try getting the pound equivalent of N2,843,169,005,788! If you see this type of figure everyday you will automatically switch off and go into mental mathematical fogginess and overstate or understate...does Cadbury ring a bell!
3. Its amazing how for the last three years there has been an alrming increase in praise singers for the balance sheet of our banks. The likes of E. Akingbola, T. Elumelu and J. Ovia have been over glorified, luckily for them and the businesses they run, they've not let these praises get to their head and are aiming at building businesses and reputations as global players and not regional and local champions. Well, with this new policy, Intercontinental's N155 billion becomes a mere N1.55billion (ouch!), but commensurate with global pricing.
4. A more introspective view of this policy is that it might contribute in creating the moral bridge between the masses and the wealthy elite. Our elite should be more inclined in understanding the plight of a minimum wage earner and the depleters of his wages under this policy regime. A driver who earns N8500 per month shall earn N85, until the veneer wears off, he is more likely to get some pity or help or even salary increase under this regime than now.
5. On a lighter note, I have always had a problem paying for meals above N2000 perplate except a company or someone else is taking the tab. Hopefuly, with a meal costing just N30 under the new regime, I should be more inclined...that one na lie, when correct food of N2 dey!!!
In conclusion, very little change in our pockets and what they can buy for us. redenomination is a mental thing...its more like learning a new language and getting used to calling Victor...Segun...quite clumsy, but practice makes perfect.
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