I just realised that my last blog post was sometime in 2009. 2009! That's just wrong. What could I have been up to in that time that I couldn't take time out to blog? To be honest- a lot. Like... golf. Uh huh, golf. Let me explain.
To put it delicately, I have had some free time, with which I have decided to explore new things (you'll be hearing about how that is going from time to time). My projects had to bring me personal satisfaction, and if they could somehow also lead to world peace, good for the world. How does golf fit into that you would ask. Golf? Really? How bourgeois! And hardly world peace stuff. But, let’s assume for one moment that golf is somewhat important, after all, the richest athlete in the world plays golf, and not football (however football is played where you come from). And like I said, I had the time and the motivation.
So far, soooo bad idea!
In the beginning though, I fooled myself and would have fooled you too. My first time at the driving range, I was "winning"! Surely, it couldn't be just beginner’s luck- more like a combination of my tiger blood and Adonis DNA. D'uh! I didn’t even need any more practice. Yawn. On to the next one.
Just the other day though, there I was with my swag on at the driving range ready to do my thing. I even had the golfer's look down to a tee. But, horror of horrors, I couldn’t find my swing. I mean, I was painful to watch. I couldn’t even hit 20 yards (if that). The applause in my head died down instantly. Something like reality started to settle in.
“Mon Dieu”!
“And you are doing this because”?
But then, I calmed down a bit and thought:
“It’s just the Tiger effect, all great golfers have bad days” (as if)
“It must be the sun in my eyes” (at 7pm in October, yeah … right)
And then I hit on the perfect reason why things weren’t going my way. If we are blaming stuff on rain, alcohol etc., might it be that I could blame this one on my boobs? Honestly. Boobs are kind of an inconvenience when you play golf.
So when next my coach’s exasperated voice went:
“Left arm straight in front of you”- My boobs are in the way
“Keep your arms close to you”- Can't. The boobs, remember?
“Keep your eye on the ball”- D'uh … boobs
“Your feet are too far apart”- Are you even listening to me? It’s the boobs!
Thank goodness he couldn’t hear my response- I may have come off as just a little nuts. Or something.
So while I may deserve this little tribulation, don’t judge me too harshly, I still know what you did last summer. *wink*
